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Well said! At the end of this day, all this energy would be better spent writing and moving forward in a positive way instead of wasting your resources on this stalkery obsession.
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Thanks so much, Pav! Honestly, I don’t get the mindset, it’s kind of ‘newbie writer 101’ a little bit – attack the dissenter for not loving our books.
There’s no grace in that. As artists, we must learn to accept that we are not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (thus the cliche). It does apply to all of us.
hugs!
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Wow. I expected to see the term “big girl panties” at some point in the post, but it reminds me of good advice I was given early in my career: You only get so many arrows in your quiver. Don’t squander them on matters of fleeting consequence.
Reply Haha, it’s basically that, Helen.
And that’s excellent advice! I may have to quote you. xo
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How is this not so glaringly obvious that Ray Charles would see? Have we not witnessed enough public meltdowns thanks to Hollywood’s stellar example to know that public spats can have serious, career ruining consequences? Hale created her own personal Streisand Effect when she went beyond the realm of rational response and then tried to paint herself as the poor, persecuted soul fighting for her right to be right.
This sort of nonsense makes it harder for everyone trying to hog tie their dreams and beat them into submission. When one author (or any other public(ish) figure, for that matter) acts like a spoiled dictator crying foul over being told to stop gassing their own people (extreme but I think it makes my point), everyone loses. Forget getting along. Can we all just grow the fuck up?
Reply so well said, Will! And how she rationalized it — definitely cray. And even beyond that, that she says she misses obsessing over the whole thing. I mean, WTF?
Listen, everyone has their weird foibles. None of is perfect. Far from it. But if we are going to be in business (and we are), we need to be professional. Showing up on someone’s doorstep just oh, IDK, doesn’t seem to scream professional to me.
xx
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Fabulous post, Rachel! Catfish notwithstanding, I found the Hale incident bizarre. As an author, I have one down and dirty rule: whether a review awards five stars or one, thank the reviewer for kindly taking the time to post a review.
Reply Thank you, dear friend. It’s funny, I used to never thank reviewers — a ‘mentor’ said to never say anything. But I’ve found that it’s important to be grateful and thank people for taking the time to read my work, even if they hate it. They’ve spent money and time on my work — how can I not be grateful for that?
Thanks for weighing in, C. (and yes, the entire incident was bizarre!)
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Thanks for sharing Rachel! You have a way to cut to the chase. It really is about walking away and getting on with writing. When this story first broke it was like watching a train wreck. I couldn’t seem to walk away and go back to work. There was something about the people who agree with Hale’s behaviour that I found deeply disturbing. I hope that this round of posts gives us all the opportunity to put a period at the end of this sentence and go back to writing 🙂
Thanks!
Reply Hi Barb! thanks so much. I do have a tendency to not sugarcoat things LOL. I do understand the tendency to want to lick our wounds — it stings when someone tells us we’re bad. That’s just our human instinct. But one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned — as a long time salesperson in soul-sucking Big Pharma and also as a writer — is that what people say is often a reflection of them, not of us.
That said, the onus is always on us, the creator of the art, to make it the most amazing it can be. If we don’t take the time to work with professionals (editor, proofreader, graphic artist, etc), then we deserve all the criticism we get.
As for the Hale situation, it was rather like a car accident. We didn’t want to look, but we couldn’t help it. It was such a hot mess, as well as having far-reaching consequences. Not all authors are psycho (because really, what normal sane person DOES that?). It’s really fucking scary.
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Thank you, Rachel. You really get down to the core of it. I feel like I want to stick an “I’m not crazy” affidavit on my website. But I think I’ll continue with the next novel instead.
Reply Thank you, Laurie! I totally get that feeling — I wouldn’t mind an “I’m not a crazy author’ sticker at this point, either. Or at the very least an ‘I won’t stalk you’ widget.
But how sad that we have to consider (even jokingly) something like that, right?
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Rachel, I agree with everything you’ve said (except for commenting on reviews of our books, although I do see your point). And I too was struck by how much time and effort her obsession took away from, oh, I dunno, maybe writing another book or two. I just hope she’s getting some help.
Reply Thank you, Lynn. I respect you so much, and appreciate your feedback.
I didn’t comment on any reviews for so, so long, but I found that thanking people sincerely (not in a snarky way) is a way to at least recognize the efforts they’ve made to read my work. But it’s not for everyone, that’s for sure.
I hope also, that she’s getting help and will continue to focus on writing. xx
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“This means you say please, use your inside voice on social media, and hopefully, thank people when they review your book…even if they hate it.”
I keep reading how writers behave badly, and it disturbs me. This line in your blog, though not highlighted, sums up the nature of writing as our business, not as our magical gift to the world which must be loved unconditionally if our wrath is not to be faced. While a bad review is disheartening, it’s also a kindness. We learn our weaknesses and can adapt and evolve. Chasing down an individual (like from “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back!”) is not sane behavior. In fact, acting like extreme fictional characters in real life really is nuts and should be called out–as was done here.
Excellent entry. I appreciate learning what not to do as much as I enjoy learning what to do. Thank you.
Reply Thank you, Jess! There’s no doubt, it’s hard to here that our baby is ugly, especially when we think it’s the most beautiful baby ever born. But there you go.
Love the Jay and Silent Bob reference, haha! Sanity is relative, I suppose, and I’m not in any way making fun of mental illness. What Hale did isn’t the action of a ‘normal’ individual, and she readily admits that her behavior was obsessive and outside the norm of sanity. I give her props for recognizing that, at least. But I suppose there’s a difference between thinking about it and actually doing it.
Regardless, thank you for the feedback!
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If an author has a huge following or lots of positive reviews to offset negative ones, that’s one thing. But when an author starts out with a review that is bad, it potentially, if not actually, kills the sales for that book, and maybe their career. Depends on where you are in your body of work. That sounds extreme, but I think that’s where authors get upset. That’s still no excuse to stalk someone. If you think bad reviews are destroying your work, unpublished the book in question, revise it, and republish it with a different cover and new title. Or ignore it and keep writing. There are lots of ways to be productive, that’s for sure. Stalking someone isn’t one of them.
Reply Hi Scarlet — thanks for weighing in!
I do agree that reviews are critically (hehe) important, but it’s also just one of many factors that matter to the success of a book. Snooki can sell crap, critically panned crap, yet because of her ‘celebrity’ it still sells. Maybe a bad example (sorry to bring her up lol), but the point is that having a name can make a book sell and reviews may have little to do with it.
That’s why I always suggest building those relationships. People need to connect with us on many levels, in many places. Stalking, gaming, assault, and other tactics will never pass muster as marketing techniques. Plain old being friendly and writing good work does wonders, truly.
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