Leave a Comment:
(15) comments
I never thought about publishers looking at my Facebook timeline, but it make sense. Just like potential employers can, potential publishers, agents, etc. can, too.
I admit, I have fallen in the trap of getting angry and fighting back with people that were being immature (I know, I was immature with the fighting back as well), but that was a few years ago, and I would like to think that I’ve grown since then. I’ve definitely learned that silence is better than fighting. It saves a lot of anger and helps to keep me on the market!
Reply
Thanks for sharing, Courtney. We all fall into that trap — I have, too. Sometimes, something strikes us and boom — there we go, getting sucked in. And to be honest, sometimes we are advocates for issues and it’s worth it! And that’s okay.
Pick your battles, basically, right? Just err on the side of caution and as always, be polite. It’s possible to argue with someone in a constructive manner and not a destructive way.
Reply
It took me a long time to learn this lesson, but you’re so right. Not just in terms of social media, but generally – sometimes people are just out for a fight, and you won’t convince them of your point of view/opinion/whatever so it’s best to just not respond to it.
Reply Hi SMA and thank you for reading and commenting — convincing takes a lot of effort and really, is it worth it to anyone? Sometimes I get authors telling me I need to convince them that social media is worth it for their platform. Nope, ain’t got time for that, as people say. Find someone else. I’m too busy helping people who want my help!
And that’s what it comes down to — be open, or don’t. It’s a choice. Thanks for your insights.
Reply
Absolutely, so true. And really, when did winning become so important anyway? That competition — it can be healthy, but in can also be toxic. Thank you for reading and commenting, Ruebi!
Reply
This is exactly why I’ve backed off of social media so much. I’ve reached a point where these conversations affect my emotions, and not in a good way. I’m going to focus on family and writing for a while and keep my head down. Silence is, at least in my case for the time being, the best answer.
Reply You’re absolutely doing what’s right for you, Jessica. If it affects us personally, we need to walk away, or at least back off, as you say. I agree, by blocking (or not engaging), that’s my way of backing off.
As my friend says, not every tweet or FB post needs a reply. We feel compelled to answer, but let it sit and then decide: is it worth the time and effort, or emotional investment? If not, let it go. Refocus, as you say. Very smart.
Reply
You’re so right, with all of this. I used to be less aware of how public Twitter (my main social network) is. I used to argue with people. If they were bolshy, I’d be bolshy back, and I’d speak my mind about stuff. Not politics or religion, but other stuff. I used to be rude to people who sent me spam, now I just advise them that it’s not a good idea, and if they are rude back then I just tell them there is no need to be so, and block them. It’s hard, though, as I am a naturally ‘call a spade a spade’ sort of person, hate gushing and pretend ‘nice’, and never want to seem ‘vanilla’, but am learning to smooth my edges down a bit! Once you block someone, it’s amazing how quickly you completely forget their existence – like, in about 5 minutes. That’s why it’s best just to block, rather than bite back!
Reply so true, terry! in fact, 9 out of 10 times I don’t respond to the spammers anymore. I work really hard to educate folks to help them, but I don’t want to be preachy. If they don’t like my words, they can unfollow. The spammy thing is annoying, so rather than be annoyed, I block their existence from my life. It’s much easier than getting down in the mud.
That said, sometimes someone is so egregious I feel the need to say something, if for no other reason than to stand up for my rights! And that’s okay — it’s my blog, my twitter, my facebook. My platform, my rules. I own that. We all should. xx
Reply
Hi Rachel, Just picked up this piece on Twitter. Good stuff & good timing. I have a lady writer acquaintance who just sent me this message “I have this pervert who won’t take “I’m married” for an answer no matter how rude I am. Any suggestions?” You must get these creeps. How do you handle them?
Reply Hi Garry! That’s why the BLOCK button is our friend. Pervs don’t deserve engagement from us. Block and move on.
Tell her not to engage him any longer, simply block his sorry ass. 🙂 I also recommend using Privacy Fix (it’s an extension on Chrome) to check her vulnerabilities on her various social media and other channels and sites. If he knows she is on Twitter, for example, he’ll likely seek her out on FB, G+, etc., so she should proactively block him everywhere.
hope that helps!
Reply