There are two main reasons I won’t retweet you.


1)    Are you presumptuous?

2)    Are you rude?


If you want a RT of your article or book link, and send it with a link on my stream or in DM, chances are I won’t.


(On the other hand, I won’t ask for a glass of milk, either…)


Let’s just get that out of the way now.


Then again, I might.


Am I being a fickle hormonal woman in need of a Nutella fix? (Okay, that’s a loaded question.) In truth, no. (Though I always want Nutella. Feel free to send some along.)


It’s not because I’m being difficult. It’s because I don’t know you (sure that’s an existential argument, but let’s leave that for another day…).IF I know you, you’ll find me to be one of the most supportive tweeps ever.


I realize that people ask lots of favors of people they don’t know in social media all the time, but manners are still manners.


I NEVER expect a retweet. Ever. And neither should you. (That’s why it’s such a wonderful gift to receive one when we do.)


Take me (okay, bad choice of words but still…made your smile): take the time to woo me a little. And by that, I don’t mean the ‘you don’t bring me flowers anymore’ kind of wooing (though sadly, you don’t).




Let’s deconstruct:




Actual tweet: @RachelintheOC Thanks Rachel for following me! Check out my blankety blank interview at http://itsallaboutme.com to learn more about me! Plz RT! #pompousdouche


Okay, I had a little fun here, but this is a tweet I received yesterday. Here’s what’s wrong with this whole shebang:


  • I didn’t follow him. Red flag number one.(And why is he using my handle in a tweet to me? I’m pretty sure I know who I am…#newbiemistake)
  • I clicked on his handle. He sent the exact same message (spam) to at least 100 people that I could count at quick glance.
  • Why would I retweet someone who presumes I’m that much of an Homer Simpson? Not that I’m all that; but I do have a decent following on both my author stream and business stream, and teach Twitter skills to folks. #researchdude
  • Even if I were that much of an Homer, let’s look at it this way (meaning nicer and not as snarky): how effective is it for him to spam hundreds of authors with the same exact message?


Are we his target PURCHASING audience?


(the subject of next week’s article. Like how I did that?)




I discuss this quite a bit with my children and clients, so you don’t escape it here either. Please and thank you go a looonnng way in this world. You probably say it in everyday life, yes? Teach your own kids, or dog and cat to do the same.


Then WHY would you (not you, of course…you’d never do this #ahem) throw someone a tweet and expect them to retweet it? And be upset if they don’t?


Oh, it happens.


Take nothing personally. Assume nothing. Expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.


We’re all busy people. I’m more likely to RT you if we have a prior ‘relationship’ – meaning if we’ve chatted once or twice before, you’ve sent me something cool or interesting, or sent me virtual Nutella.


Sure, Twitter and social media are about karma, but it’s more about connections.


As I said above, I never expect people to RT me. If they do, it’s always a delightful gift.


Has anyone ever paid your toll? Yielded on the freeway when you desperately needed to get over? Sent you a gift basket of cute little yummy cookies just because?


Your brain (and body) chemistry changes when you receive a gift you don’t expect, rather than anticipating one. (One of the many reasons I don’t like Valentine’s Day, but that’s a whole other blog post about expectation and branding.)


My goal here is to change that paradigm of entitlement many people have when first starting on Twitter – or of those who have never caught on. I may be completely high, but hopefully my blog posts and tweets are a start.


What say you?


(Now go RT this. Totally kidding.)












  1. Natasha on May 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Retweeting! But only because you’ve provided worthwhile information that deserves to be shared…(like how I did that…re suck up) Seriously, great post that really has to go beyond being shared to being read! Thank you 😉

    • Rachel Thompson on May 10, 2012 at 7:25 pm

      Haha you make me laugh, Natasha re the suck up (reminds me of when Alec Baldwin says that in Cat in the Hat). See, it’s all about connections! The more we know about each other, the more inclined we are to RT each other.


  2. Tami Parrington on May 10, 2012 at 5:02 pm

    Great article. I never expect anyone, even my closest friends to RT my book links or any other pearls of wisdom I may impart throughout the day. Some do, and yes it is a lovely gift. I appreciate it greatly and always try to thank them (I do always thank them if I see it. I miss a few.) I would never send anyone a DM with a link like that. I see it all the time and it just bristles my shorthairs. I don’t know if anyone has ever done that to me that I hadn’t followed. Probably, but I ignore most DMs anyway, but if I follow someone I don’t want to feel like the only reason they followed me was to cram private links down my throat.

    That said, I’m pretty prolific about sending out links on my feed. Hey, it does help marketing. I also communicate with fellow Tweeters and also try to post helpful stuff, so I hope my followers find my feeds useful. In fact, if someone follows me, I look at their feeds. If they have a bunch of links on it, that’s fine, but if it’s all links and nothing else interesting I won’t even respond.

    Twitter is a great medium for marketing, and self-published authors need to get the word out, but it’s also a place of communication and friendship. It has to be more than just 24 hour a day commercials.

    • Rachel Thompson on May 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm

      Hi Tami and thanks for your thoughtful response. (Love the visual of bristles my shorthairs — great!) I myself appreciate DMs since it allows for convos outside of the mainstream but the ones w/ auto links — ack. Forget it. I write about Thank You’s in a previous post — super important but bitch them up so your stream isn’t clogged full of THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU & that’s all anyone sees. and Yes, commercials suck — we all hate them — why do we have Netflix & a mute button?

      Something to think about. 🙂

  3. Tim Casey on May 10, 2012 at 6:36 pm

    Hey Rachel, good stuff and I agree it is all about manners. If it were the real world would these people just walk up and barge into a conversation f group of people were having at say a dinner party.

    “Hi, I’m a friend of so-and-so anyone need some insurance?”
    They might as well be selling insurance or some kind of MLM product. The internet breads a false sense of intimacy (Not that kind, or most of the time).

    I tweet mostly jokes and I know when I’ve had a good joke it gets retweeted. That’s how I try to think of other tweets as well, is worth retweeting?

    Anyway cheers and I am impressed you didn’t hashtag any of your post. hahhahahah

    • Rachel Thompson on May 10, 2012 at 7:33 pm

      Well, thank you Tim. There WAS one little one (from the tweet #pompousdouche) hehe…

      I fully agree with you about the party comment. I mean, someone has to sell insurance or used cars. Just don’t do it at a party! I can’t figure out why people think social media is any different.

      Ah well. Another article…

  4. eden baylee on May 10, 2012 at 8:55 pm

    You and I are on the same page on this. I tweet because it’s worthwhile to do so. I’ve taken the time to open the link and like what I read. Like you, if I go on the person’s public timeline and see the same RT request to everyone – I don’t bother going further. Recently, I thought to be nice and actually advised a newbie that he was spamming because he was doing just that. He wanted a RT because proceeds of his book would fund cancer – i found no evidence of that on his blog. I advised him he was spamming and he should actually WRITE a blog explaining how his book sales would fund cancer. He reamed me out and said his mother died of cancer… ok buddy, I basically said ‘sorry about your mother and good luck with your strategy’ – the end does not justify the means, but he obviously felt a sense of ‘entitlement’. Frankly I didn’t need to deal with someone who was too immature to see I was trying to help him.


    • Rachel Thompson on May 10, 2012 at 9:26 pm

      I totally remember that guy! I think I came to you w/ a WTF? are you supporting him? Cuz he was so spammy and we both determined he was asking for money for no apparent reason. Honestly, what is UP w/ that? (Well, we know, sadly.) No assumptions here, his motives may have been pure, but his methods were not.

      YOU are an awesome supporter of indies and #IndiesUnite4Joshua — I’m so looking forward to having Maxwell Cynn on my author blog on Sunday and my youtube video going up on Mother’s Day to help raise more money. We will do this thing, baby. This is what’s so amazing about Twitter and social media — the amazing good that can come from it!


  5. Ross H on May 10, 2012 at 11:13 pm

    Dear Ross

    Why have you taken so long to start reading Rachel’s blog? This is really good stuff, you idiot. And you can learn from it! So start reading. Now!



    • Rachel Thompson on May 11, 2012 at 8:11 am

      Dear Ross,

      You made me laugh. I appreciate your funny and sweet comment. Visit anytime.



  6. Lorca Damon on May 11, 2012 at 3:55 am

    THANK YOU! I can’t recall how many times I’ve followed someone and gotten an autoDM telling me to buy their book/retweet their crap/read some blog post they wrote. I just followed you four seconds ago, there’s no way you had time to set down your latte and type all that to me! It was from a spambot you signed up for to bombard me with your ego!

    I feel like it’s the same thing as walking up to a person you think you might know in the library. You smile, hold out your hand and say, “I think we’ve met before. I’m Lorca.” THEN the interesting-looking person smiles back and screams, “I HAVE A TIMESHARE IN FLORIDA I WANT YOU TO BUY!”

    Obviously, I’m going to start scanning the room for a responsible adult to help me!

    • Rachel Thompson on May 11, 2012 at 8:44 am

      Yep, yep, and yep! All so true. And maybe that’s what it all comes down to…who are the responsible adults on social media? Or has it becomes a place to simply play? IDK. I guess that’s kind of what makes it fun to an extent and that’s ok. I always say — curate your own stream. Twitter isn’t rocket science but it IS what you make it. Thanks, Lorca for your comments!

  7. Ciara Ballintyne on May 11, 2012 at 3:58 am

    I hate the attitude of entitlement no matter where I find it. I hardly ever RT a request to RT – unless, as you say, it’s from someone with whom I have a prior relationship.

    It’s actually amazing how much you get when you DON’T ask and spend your time investing in the connections. I saw on one of my apps today how many RTs I’d had in the last 90 days and it was a respectable number, and I didn’t ask for a single one of them via tweet or DM.

    • Rachel Thompson on May 11, 2012 at 3:47 pm

      Isn’t that great! I love when the organic RTs happen. You’re a terrific example, Ciara, how giving great content begets great content. Karma, baby. xo

  8. Peggy Fitzpatrick on May 11, 2012 at 7:21 am

    OMG I think I got that tweet from #pompousdouchbag too! Twice in one day no less. And they ask you to follow them when they aren’t following you. So ridiculous.

    I also have a serious problem with the people who DM you to share something that they wrote when they don’t even talk to me. One person sent me a list she made to share and didn’t even take the time to notice that I was on it too. Also, if you are in my Triberr tribes, I am already sharing your material, no DM necessary. Duh.

    I try not to let these things ruin the fun of Twitter. I need to get better with blocking.
    Cheers sistah!

    • Rachel Thompson on May 11, 2012 at 3:49 pm

      Me, too (about pompousdouche)…I even took it a step further and replied to him, letting him know I teach people how to use Twitter w/o spamming people and if he wanted to follow this stream or read this blog, that might be helpful for him. I killed myself w/ diplomacy haha.

      No response. Of course.

      Ah well, can’t win em all….

      Love ya, girl.

  9. M. E. Franco on May 11, 2012 at 9:28 am

    Great post! It drives me crazy when people follow me and the first thing they do is tweet or DM links to their blogs and books without having even one conversation with me.

  10. Angel D. Vargas on May 11, 2012 at 9:57 am

    I have to admit, not only is your article bitingly funny, but it makes a lot of sense. Social media does have a tendency to bring about the entitlement and presumption of others. But I also tend to think think that a degree of anonymity makes this tendency come to the front more easily for those who already had it.

    Thanks for putting a smile on my face. 🙂

  11. Charity Parkerson on May 11, 2012 at 4:21 pm

    YES!! I hear from Mr. & Mrs. ImADouche daily.

  12. Jennifer on May 14, 2012 at 10:52 pm

    Pure awesomeness! And now I’m gonna RT the link to this 🙂

  13. Scarlett on May 15, 2012 at 1:55 am

    So true Rachel! I also think that the spam tactic + asking for a RT is only causing them to lose out on my own custom. For example, if they took the time to send me a tweet that was personal and less desperate for a RT I might read it, go to their site and RT it of my own accord. They might win me over as a customer and as a promoter… spam never works! x

  14. […] Why I Won’t Retweet You (badredheadmedia.com) Digg Diggvar dd_offset_from_content = 40; var dd_top_offset_from_content = 0;Rachel ThompsonRachel Thompson aka RachelintheOC is a published author and social media consultant. Her two books, A Walk In The Snark and The Mancode: Exposed are both #1 Kindle bestsellers! When not writing, she helps authors and other professionals with branding and social media for her company, BadRedhead Media. She hates walks in the rain, running out of coffee, and coconut. Buy Now : A Walk in the Snark * Mancode: ExposedMore Posts Follow Me: […]

  15. Charmaine Clancy on June 20, 2012 at 4:20 am

    Very true. People need to familiarise themselves with social media etiquette. Too many times I hop on twitter and find it’s like standing in a crowded market with people just yelling out their wares and bargains. Those are bad days and I slink away. But sometimes, we do get actual conversations and interactions and notification of links and specials that I’d actually be interested in. That’s when Twitter shines.

    • Rachel Thompson on June 20, 2012 at 8:12 pm

      Great point, Charmaine. It has become such a spam wasteland, sadly. That’s not to say as authors we shouldn’t help people to discover us — that’s the point of marketing. It’s how we go about it that makes the difference!

  16. Kelly Hitchcock (@KellyHitchcock) on July 2, 2012 at 7:34 am

    How did you survive in the before time, the long long ago, before Nutella was invented?


    And yeah, douchebags need not apply to my generally nice person sensibilities.

    • Rachel Thompson on July 2, 2012 at 11:21 am

      I do not know :).

      As for douchebags, they are inevitable. It’s how we deal with them that makes the difference.

      Thanks, Kelly!

  17. Red Flags: Trust Your Gut by @RachelintheOC on July 15, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    […] Why I Won’t Retweet You(badredheadmedia.com) […]

  18. Lance on August 28, 2012 at 3:57 am

    and i thought you wouldn’t retweet me because of my “redheads are crazy” posts and tweets

    I need to pratice my grovel, I mean speech I’m going to give you when i novel comes out next month

    Dear sweet, wonderful, Princess Rachel, will you……

    • Rachel Thompson on August 29, 2012 at 5:34 pm

      Princess Rachel haha. Give it up, dude (it’s Queen, ya know).

      I have lots of people I’m happy to RT. Hit me up. I also have @IndieBookPromos to help indies advertise affordably…check it out! x

  19. Shaunda Kennedy Wenger on August 30, 2012 at 10:04 am

    Thank You!
    Great info worth sharing.
    Oh, and YOU ARE my target audience. What better goal in life than to Wooooo Rachel Thompson? #workingonthat 😉

    • Rachel Thompson on August 30, 2012 at 10:31 am

      ha, sweet Shaunda. I’m happy to RT you — you’re smart, supportive, and not spammy. That’s key — promoting others, sharing good content, and not using a broadcast only model. Way to go!

  20. XS143 on September 6, 2012 at 5:14 am

    great post! I can’t stand it (more so in business) when I get an @ with a link and PLEASE RT! – er.. no I think not.. #irritatingme

    only thing I disagree on is nutella – I too used to think it was the bees knees – until my friend (who has a choc shop) started stocking this choc spread that is dark, milk and there’s a salted caramel one too – she has now ruined my nutella addiction! 🙂

    • Rachel Thompson on September 6, 2012 at 10:11 pm

      mmmmm, that sounds amazing. I love salt with chocolate. And yes, RTing or requesting/demanding RTs or shares is just so presumptuous. It drives me crazy. Especially when people think they’re being clever about the manipulation. Please, redhead wasn’t born yesterday (erm, almost. not quite).

  21. XS143 on September 6, 2012 at 5:15 am

    hmm.. got distracted by thoughts of chocolate – meant to say in first bit – when I don’t know/have no relationship whatsoever with you, don’t expect me to RT when you ask – even if I like the article, coz it just puts my back up, be nice, be social and be polite. 🙂

  22. Teresa Cypher on September 6, 2012 at 7:05 am

    Great morning read! Well, it’d be a great read any time of day, but since it’s morning… No, lol, actually–it is a great read to start the day off. Good information and the comments added to my chuckles. Thanks, Rachel. Is #suckup a hashtag?? If it isn’t, it might be now… 🙂

    • Rachel Thompson on September 6, 2012 at 10:13 pm

      haha, thanks. I think you can make a hashtag out of anything. I dream in hashtags at this point. When people (and by people I mean Facebookers) say “what’s that number sign mean anyway?” I just feel sorry for them. okay, that’s mean. and here I was trying to be … not mean. Thanks for your kind words, Teresa.

  23. Jonathan C Gillespie (@JCGauthor) on September 6, 2012 at 9:11 am

    This is the second time I’ve checked out one of your articles, and once again I find myself nodding in agreement. Simply following someone does not mean you’re instantly entitled to their support. You have to earn it.

    Another important point I think you could mention is branding. I will not RT plugs authors are broadcasting pertaining to *certain kinds* of books. I think authors need to consider carefully the cost of tweeting plugs that would betray their own branding as an author.

    • Rachel Thompson on September 6, 2012 at 10:17 pm

      Thanks, Jonathan. You’re right about branding (and I actually have written about it here but not so much here on this post.

      Many authors shy away from anything ‘marketing’ sounding, like branding. It’s not a difficult concept, but it is something new for most writers. I get asked about it A LOT — probably time for another post.

      Thanks for your comments!

  24. J.A. Howell on September 16, 2012 at 6:46 am

    Rachel, you really hit the nail on the head with this. It sums up quite well the things I hate about twitter, and why admittedly I am not on it as much as I should be. When I am on there, and on FB I do my best to try and make connections with others that can become beneficial on both ends.

    Nothing makes me cringe more than DM’s that are obviously sent to every single person that follows a “twit” back.

    Yes…that’s what those twitter users are…twits. 🙂

    • Rachel Thompson on September 19, 2012 at 12:05 pm

      Hi JA, and thanks for the comments. It used to be that DMs were a valuable tool for networking, but now they’re lost in so much spam, I find I tend to ignore them more than I should. I’m utilizing other social channels, like StumbleUpon, G+, FB, and Pinterest as well and seeing what types of results I get. Thanks for sharing!

  25. @CharityParkerso on October 16, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    This is still the best article out on Twitter etiquette WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU http://t.co/vCe9hqjc

  26. Rachel Thompson (@RachelintheOC) on November 4, 2012 at 7:55 am

    WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU via @BadRedheadMedia http://t.co/ZJN3tRuD Plz RT (haha)

  27. Rachel Thompson (@BadRedheadMedia) on November 4, 2012 at 5:45 pm

    WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU via @BadRedheadMedia http://t.co/zfjhbqzh Plz RT (haha)

  28. @artrubicon on November 4, 2012 at 5:47 pm

    love it! WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU via @BadRedheadMedia http://t.co/fJILDP5b Plz RT (haha)

  29. @toddbacile on November 4, 2012 at 5:58 pm

    #MAR4721: great advice for RTs. “Via @BadRedheadMedia: WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU http://t.co/DelvSsBy Plz RT (haha)”

  30. @voxgroove on November 4, 2012 at 6:03 pm

    “@artrubicon: love it! WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU via @BadRedheadMedia http://t.co/4qdqG6yt Plz RT (haha)” oh man, awesome post! Love it too!

  31. @DrJRogers on November 4, 2012 at 6:30 pm

    Must read! -> WHY I WON’T RETWEET YOU – Bad Redhead Media http://t.co/brbbLFAt #snhumkt666 #smm #twitter

  32. @LauraHoward78 on November 8, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    There are two main reasons I won’t retweet you. http://t.co/hSqReeBd @badredheadmedia

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